viernes, 1 de febrero de 2008

Exhaustion/ Estoy loca?

I got into a really interesting conversation with one of my students last night. She was saying that she's always confused by the young people from the United States she meets living in Buenos Aires - we always say we came here because we love the country, the culture, we wanted to live abroad, go to new places and see new things, etc. She said it's perplexing to her for two reasons, first because in Argentina it is very rare for people to go so far from their families and friends on a whim, and second, because while a lot of Argentines are interested in going to Western Europe or the United States, they mostly want to go for work. Sure, an interest in the culture and being adventurous comes into it, but it isn't usually their only motivation. She also brought up the economics of it - while people from Argentina may leave the country to make more money, we inevitably come to Argentina to make less money (if you come to teach English.) Much, much less.
This was the first week I had a full schedule (20 hours of teaching.) That doesn't sound like a lot but it is seriously exhausting. Like, too tired to do anything but crawl into bed at the end of the day exhausting. Because for every hour of class you also have prep time and commute time, so it ends up being a full day from about 10 am to 8 or 9 pm. The time spent with students is, of course, the best. But it's an exhausting job. It's not a spacing out in front of your computer type of job - you have to be engaging and energetic with your students and you're constantly thinking - what's the difference between during and while? Why do we say it that way? That's wrong, but why is it wrong? And unlike 9 to 5 jobs at home, you don't get paid for every hour you work.
So am I totally crazy? Making myself really, legitimately poor for the first time in my life? To live as far as possible from everything that's familiar?
Well. Looking at numbers it doesn't make sense to be here, but I've always hated math.
So for now, I'll keep being one of the crazy young idealistic Yanquis who comes here because of esoteric ideas about seeing the world and an even stronger fear of the restlessness and eventual settling that comes with staying at home.

And let me tell you, it's all worth it for one of my students who wrote an entire essay using the word "younglings" in place of the word "youth."

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