An Open Letter to the Language Institutes of Buenos Aires

Dear Language Institutes of Buenos Aires & the fine personnel you employ,

I have some minor grievances. Surely we can talk in a mutually respectful, civilized way. Oh but wait, we can't, because you are all SKANKY, LYING BITCHES.

Okay, sorry, I got ahead of myself. Let's break this down. I have a few suggestions (outlined below.)

1) Try not to act like a bunch of crazy ho bags. You know, whenever possible.
Like when I go to drop my timesheet off and you totally yell at me for taking on classes and then abruptly abandoning them. And then I tell you that I never did that and you giggle and say, "Oops! Now that I think of it, you're right. I was thinking of someone else."

2) Don't lie ALL THE TIME. Especially when I can prove that you are lying.
So, the internet, it's pretty cool. You can actually tell when someone has emailed you, and check to see what the email was about. Definitively. For any period of time after the email was sent. So don't tell me you emailed me when you actually didn't and then claim to have "lost the email."

3) Pay us more.
You get 40 pesos an hour for our time; we get 20 pesos (or less.) I know you provide a lot of valuable support, but - Oh wait, you don't provide any support at all. Not even free photocopies. I may not be the world's best English teacher but I'm reasonably sure that I do more than 50% of the work when I teach a class.

4) Don't write emails when you're drunk.
Like the email my roommate got last night asking if she wanted to switch her class on Mondays and Thursdays to Mondays and Thursdays.

5) Don't punish me for other people's mistakes.
I know, English teachers in foreign countries have a reputation for being, oh, slightly flakey at times. I'm sure it happens, and I understand you like to be cautious. But enough is enough. I've never missed a class, not returned a phonecall, or left on a one-way flight back to North America without telling you. Yell at me if I screw up, but not before.

I'd like to point out at this time that there are some good institutes out there. Well, one that I know of. Where it's small, friendly, organized, professional, and sometimes there's ice cream from Freddo. The pay is the same, but it's a lovely place to work, and they actually line up classes so I don't spend 3+ hours a day on colectivos and the subte.

See? It's not actually required that you make our lives difficult.

I'm not asking to be your best friend, Language Institutes of BA, I'd just like a certain minimum standard of organization and professionalism.

Until that happens, thanks for all the amusing stories and anecdotes to share over a drink with other English teachers.

Yours faithfully,
Sarah

P.S. If any aspiring English teachers stumble upon this and want to know what institutes they should avoid like the plague, feel free to get in touch.